I recently dropped off a carload of gear to a mom of three. Their dining room had been converted into a bedroom, and they don't even have a table and chairs to eat from. As my husband and I were carrying stuff in various loads, she mentioned that her boyfriend lost his job the winter. Their baby swing had just broke and their secondhand car seat was about to expire.
This is something that hit close to home for us. We were just getting settled into our lives in Virginia with an infant when we had suddenly lost all of our income. Although we only went about a month trying to figure out what the next move was, we were able to get through it all because we have a terrific support system.
Some people aren't as fortunate as we are. And even then, I was panicked. How were we going to make sure our little guy got the healthcare he needed and enough diapers?
Just as we were ready to head out the door this mom started to cry. You could just sense the anxiety. It's one thing not to have the shiny new stroller or brand name clothes society says we should have to be good moms. It's another thing to not have gloves to put on your two year old's hands when the windchill is -15.
So I hugged her as she melted into my arms. And I told her that she was doing a good job because she was doing whatever she could for her babies. That she loved them and that is all they need.
Being a mom is tough, and lacking resources to provide for your kids is terrifying. The pressure of living in an affluent area like Loudoun County is tremendous. But even those with everything you could dream of at their fingertips might be struggling. We just don't know.
So have you told your mommy friends they're doing a great job in this impossible to navigate world called motherhood? Have you given them a hug and told them they are right for doing whatever they can to love their babies the best way they know how? Last time you spoke to someone struggling, did you say it?